The Battle 1099

Aye, I know that we won, but I wanted tae say a few things aboot the battle none the less, so listens! Firstly I saw Rhino after the Battle and he said "Well the battle is always won by the side with five factions!" well maybe…..

And some people said that there wasn’t really any reason to fight the battle anymore as the Factions had all agreed to consider changes being made in the Gathering Treaty anyway…

And some said it was a nice day, so lets go to the bar…

But the truth was that even if there were four factions against five, the side with four factions including the Dragons and they had as many people on the battlefield as we did.

And the real reason that we fought was not to decide some worthless political point, or who was right or wrong over who walked on whose land. No, It was about who had the heart to fight, who had the strength and skill to fight, who would stay on the field of honour the longest and who would kick the other side from that field. It was about who could fight the best.

Nobody thought that we could fight the Dragons and win. In the command meeting the night before I made sure that we would fight the Dragons across the top of the hill. In that meeting it seemed that we were to be the lure, the bait, so that the Dragons would be held up while the other four factions dealt with the rest of their army. When we lined up on the field o’ battle and we saw how many were opposite us, some people said tae me "…they are going to come straight through us!"

But they didn’t

They charged us in the way they always do, expecting us to come flying across the field at them, but we didnae. We held, and we took their charge. And it ran oot of steam. Slives’ troops ran into a barrage of damage of outrageous proportions when they met the exiles, led by Lament wielding The Wrath of the Morrigan. And then when the Dragons stopped, we advanced, and we didn’t stop advancing until we reached the other side o’ the field, then we turned around and went back, heading straight for the war banner of the Dragons. Rallying around our banner time and again, and with the chant of DEATH! On our lips we hacked our way across the battlefield wherever we pleased. The Dragons’ banner was seized thrice, and several times we surrounded our enermies and beat them down. The fighting was close, dirty and brutal. But we never flinched, never stopped, never wavered for a minute.

We fought like warrior poets; we fought as if the Goddess was in every weapon and in every Bear who stepped upon the field that day.

At the end of the battle the Dragons had no choice but to surrender, for we would give no quarrter and would not have stopped the killing until our arms could no longer be rasied forr weariness.

We stopped the Dragons flying colume, and then set aboot dismembering it. The first time, may I remind you that it has been defeated for years, (when it took the field properly that is!).

So I salute you, the people of Caledonia and say that I was able to lead you into battle that day. I promise that I shall not let the glory of that day die in some pathetic treaty that is dreamed up at the ogc. I promise you that it will not be forgotten. I will wave that victory in their faces like our banner that flew over the battlefield.

But as I say, it wasn’t aboot fighting for a treaty or political point. It wwas aboot showing Edreja that we are a faction to be reckoned with. We can fight better than any other faction, for we are the Bears, we are the Caledonians, We are the Clans…..

And besides, It was a nice day to fight!

I am your humble servant,

War Chieftain of Caledonia

My time as a guest of the Illithids.

Roight, not all of you will know that I was abducted by some bloke who was me mate, thou I dinna ken his name and put in the best room in the mindflayers tavern. This is not a good thing.

Firstly they have no bar, or drinks of any description other than water on the rocks (not over ice either, I think that the Harts could out drink them).

Secondly when they found me not to their tentacles taste they like to beat people up and jump up and down on them. And then blow them up with magic. So as you can see not a nice bunch of people at all.

While I was in there care, one of them wandered around looking just like me, but there were a few clues apparently. One it refused a beer. I think whoever offered it a beer should have guessed it wasn’t me. Then it refused a fight. See point one.

Then it talked to lots of people and asked lots of questions that weren’t beer related. But it all worked out in the end with the harts blowing their trumpet and beating the thing up. The Mindflayers very nicely dumped me bloody and dying in the Ritual circle where some nice people eventually decided to heal me (they weren’t bears and so not as friendly as they could have been).

So just to note….don’t get captured by the mindflayers and they get very upset when you call them Calamari.

Haggis Forever

To the peoples of Caledonia,

My thanks to all that offered help and lent aid to us against the Grey Swords, and to those that helped with the disease. The Gray Swords are gone, but the sickness is not. It has polluted the water ways and many people who sought shelter here have left carrying the sickness but not displaying the sickness, such that the illness has spread into areas of the land. The sickness is not, as far as we can see, fatal to the strong, though the old and the very young should be taken to the healers as soon as possible. I would ask that any who display the symptoms, which are nausea and being sick, followed by tiredness and weakness, with a fever and sleeplessness. Should send word to my lay or seek out a Healer as soon as they can.

Vargrad Orhmsun, Captain of the Guard, Skars Ferry.

Play Celt of the Month

Guess Who?

It’s the friendly foreign Minister, Mephisto McSnaga…..

What can be said about Mephisto that has not already been said in Clans men in focus…… I think the drawing above says it all!

Competition – Money to win

See if you can better the resent Play Celts and Clans men in focus. Send drawings and descriptions into Editor and if you get published you will get a Prize (Not me money Teran, Ohhhh – Ed)

History of a Clan

McSnaga

In the beginning there was the orc.

The orc was mighty. The orc was everywhere. Some have interpreted this to mean the orc was omnipresent, but the orc would disagree, since he couldn't spell.

Now a feeble new species emerged on the world called hoo-manz. Hoo-manz were smelly, hoo-manz were weak and hoo-manz were unhealthy. The orc gave the hoo-manz some crap land without trees - the most useless land and the hoo-manz were grateful. The hoo-manz in return gave the orc disease. It was a good disease and worked well, killing off nearly all the orc.

The day came when an orc, who had lots of orcy-know-wots, took a hoo-man female as his mate and though she died 'cos she was weak, she gave birth to a half-orc, one who grew up to be strong and one who disease did not affect.

His name was Snaga. Other Orcs followed and soon many of Snaga's kind lived in and around hoo-manz.

Some true orc survived and live to these days mostly in the woods, cut off from da hoo-manz.

The sunz and dorterz of Snaga, the McSnagas live to this day on the southern border of Caledonia.

The Clan McSnaga is a proud clan; proud of its ancestry, proud of its tartan and proud of its traditions. McSnagas are generally larger than normal hoo-manz in general bulkiness, mostly due to their large consumption of food and beer.

The tartan of the McSnagas is black and white. Current famous McSnagas are:

Spud McSnaga, Clan Chieftain, Wearer of the Holy Socks, Knight of the Cauldron, Ex-Paladin of Danu and Ex-Captain of the Lions.

Pogo McSnaga, Clan High Priest, Bearer of the D6 Mace and food taster to anyone who'll let him.

Mephisto (McPhisto) McSnaga, Knight of the Boar, Ex-High Ritualist, The Tartan Mage, Bear Foreign Minister.

Shattered Glass? – More like splattered grass.

A report on the recent Scouts Guild training camp, held "somewhere in Caledonia"

In all about 40 were present. There were several Chancellors from the Griffins, one Matron mother, and General Hawk from the Tarantulas. The Healers guild was well represented by Xavin, Stefan Louis and Sol Tempest. Stefan Louis McYokel, I should say, as following discussions with Denzil he is now an honorary McYokel. Others who might be known to the Bears were two of the Tarantulas who live below Scarsferry in N.E. Caledonia, called Change and Jinx.

We were divided into two teams, who would train in competition with each other, and following reports of Orcs and Goblins in the area, the two teams were sent out to scout the area around the camp. Red team led at that time by Teran, set out in the wrong direction, but making a wide sweep around the area found a tree with strange runic carvings into the bark. Large numbers of ghouls, guarded the tree, and as soon as the runes were copied we fell back to the training camp. This seemed to tie in with rumours heard on the journey of strange wailing noises being heard from the woods.

It became clear form questioning orc and goblin captives that their group was carrying out similar training in the area and that they regarded it as their land

During the evening, a druid visited the camp. He called himself both Squirrel, and Squizzel, depending on his mood and seemed very concerned at our using the lands he protected. He was placated with various vague guarantees as to our behaviour, and left for his grove. Another visitor was a Mrs McLaren, a local widow. From her it was ascertained that she believed the local Laird to be called Lynsall, and that he had taken over the land from Conor CuCulain. She said he was less careful of his tenants and the land than his predecessor, and I promised to take this news back to Conor. From this I estimated that we were much closer to Rockholme, possibly in the area between the McYokel lands, and the lands leased out for the Gathering.

Serious training started in the morning, with exercises through the local woods. These were disturbed repeatedly by orc, and later, unliving attacks. These now included more of the powerful unliving that could appear and disappear seemingly at will, and knock down even the strongest with a single chilling touch. Another visitor, also calling himself a protector of the woods, was a ranger called Dalhari. He seemed very relieved when he heard we had seen Squirrel, and before going on his way to a hamlet called Wikenstyle, gave warning against entering an area of the woods he called the Graveyard – the area from which the unliving had emerged.

Various parchments were found, and as their contents were deciphered it was decided to send out a strong party from both groups. It seemed we had come to the site of an ancient tragedy, possibly involving the ranger Dalhari. The mission was to map the area, and determine the local threats. Teran was amongst those chosen. On the journey a crystal was found, which struck Teran down unconscious as he went to touch it. Healed up again, he got hold of it, was struck unconscious again, but kept hold of the stone, which was brought back to the camp where he was revived. It was later determined that the crystal was one of a set, and that they were connected in some way with the druid.

In the meantime, at the camp it was realised that Xavin and Sol Tempest of the healers had vanished, and Stefan Louis went to find them. While he was away, a major wave of unliving attacked, including a foul, rotting creature whose touch rended the pattern. By the time they were driven away, all healing had been used, and I was left bandaging wounds guided by the diagnoses of the spent healers. Three of the defenders lay dying on the floor. Stefan Louis returned, and used most of his healing to bring them around.

As the night dried chilled, and the cloud cover rolled back, an extra danger was revealed – a full moon. Not only did this make night operations more visible, but also strange howling sounds were heard from the hills. Several of those present looked worried and one was subdued and lead away to his tent. I got involved in a shoving match with Rallaman, as he attempted to attack what turned out to be another scout, who entered the hall looking very unusual.

The patrols discovered more of the unliving threat. It seemed that the druid was guarding a staff, with which they could be laid to rest. He would not release it to us, or use it himself unless a wand of his, which had been stolen by the Orc Shaman, was returned to him. "Me" – a half ogre scout spent much time talking with the druid and agreed to apprentice himself to the druid. A further crystal was found in a tree in the Graveyard area, guarded by what seemed to be a friendly unliving creature but surrounded by the other unliving creatures.

By the evening, it had been discovered that the Orc threat was far more dangerous than expected. A raid was planned to eliminate him, and retrieve the wand for the druid. I will summarise 2 hours of freezing in an open field under a full moon by saying only that despite the help of the ranger Dalhari, the mission failed.

In the cold after the mission desperate measures were considered, and eventually attempted. One mission found and brought back the body of Castire, a former master of the guild, lost on a previous mission, At least this was some success as his body could now be laid in peace.

Eventually, the decision was made to get the staff required. However with all our attempts the staff was not found. Rumours abounded that the druid had been tipped off.

A final mission was sent out, which I joined, and searched the grove tree by tree, by only the light of the moon. The staff was found, concealed near the grove, and not revealed even when magic was scanned for. It being recovered, we returned, and finally set to the beer.

Morning came, and went, and few were about. It seemed the attack on the orc leaders had at least disturbed their plans of attack.

As people rose news of the previous night’s activities spread around, it was decided to plant the staff at the grove and invoke it. Before this could be done, the camp was attacked by waves more of unliving, through which we fought our way up to the grove. Tyburn of the Exiles was one of the two designated to carry the staff. As we fought our way through, he was picked off by a magebolt, and none that could heal managed to get through to him. The staff was taken forward, the fight moved on, and it was only as the battle ended that he was reached, too late. To add to the confusion, Grandmaster Silk lost control, and in rat form attacked all and sundry, until laid out. Teran seemed to be attempting to heal the leader of the unliving, (perhaps Healing effected him – Ed) but eventually the leader fell, and the unliving put to rest.

As we returned to the camp it was noticed that "Me" was missing. A search party found his body lying under the tree by the Red crystal, his head charred. He could not be saved. It seems that he had returned alone to the crystal on the fall of the unliving, had touched it, but found it trapped. His death – the third one of the training session cast a sombre note over the closing announcements.

Rumours

Reports have been coming in of People spotting small & spikey all over Caledonia. Last report wwas that they had seen him climbing out of one of the Barrels in the Bar. I was told he looked a bit wet and a little tipsy!

The Sward of the Morygan ‘as bean reported to have bean stolen. The Nights are hon the case and I betta get out of hear before I’m caught….

Come here Gobbo and tell us exactly were it is! -Ed

Oh bummer! - Gobbo

Tax room run out of Money….. with all the refunds and all they have run out of money. Better get the Cerridwen on the case!

Queenies wanting McYokel Bull and eating it…. It is rumoured that the Queenies have not paid their subscriptions to Editor McYokel for the following issues. If the money is not paid then Editor will have to pay the Cerridwen’s Taxes out of his own pocket.

Cookery Corner

Here is a recipe from a reader that wishes for mumsie to try out!

Drow Soup

What’s needed ?

Well…..

Now place water in the Cooking pot and bring to the boil. Then catch your Albino Drow and stuff the apple in his mouth to stop him whining.

Now place in to the pot for a couple of hours or until tender. So what do you do with the Barrel then I hear you say. Well that’s for drinking while your waiting! Then serve the soup-piping hop with a wood Elf salad.

Calling all Clan Rose and O’Gallagher

Dagnar Rose, Chief of the Clan Rose, would like to invite all his family & friends to his wedding to Captain Merrion O’Gallagher, Chief of the O’Gallaghers. The wedding will be on the 4^th of the 12^th month at the Mead hall in Farnborough. Dagnar’s Wedding present to Merrion will be the Chieftainship of both Clans. Any of the Clan Rose with objections should make a complaint in writing and hope Dagnar learns to read. I would also like to invite any Bears but Mumsie, please don’t bring any Dragons (we’ve got food!) or Rronin as he only causes trouble….

Editor

Ps. They arrre still looking for a priest to perform the ceremony so any suggestions would be helpful.

This Paper was brought to you by Editor McYokel: -

With Contributions by:

OOC Pages !!!

Send a Spirit Message to the Editor

Or leave a message for him on the

Bears NoticeBoard

Blessing be upon you

Subscription