The News from the Front……

Some of you may be surprised that here is indeed a front, as all has been rather quiet at the moment. However, things have been happening in Erin that has prompted action. I heard reports of a great battle on the Plains of Moytura, near the Royal capital of Erin, Meath. There a brave bunch of lads and lasses did banish Balor the one eyed to the void and there they did stop The dark Queen Medb from capturing the city. So in my wisdom I sent a offer of help to the Dragon faction, which ordered the following:-

That, 3 armies of the Bears, The 1^st 2^nd and the 4^th will sail upon both fleets to Ulster, there to retake the lands from the Dark Queen. The 14^th will move to the West Coast in order to act as a reserve. They are to be led by the Ri Thane of the Southern armies Solo Mc Twatem. Good luck to you all.

Now some of you may say that’s a wee bit odd as we fell out with the Dragons. But I say that they are a Celtic nation, and therefore it is for us to aid them in a time of need. It is dictated by honour that we aid them, I hope that you all feel the same.

All the best

War Chieftain of the Bears of Caledonia

Mosh time with the Incantors

Arriving in Teutonia we were met by an assembly of very important and powerful people in Erdreja (and Stefan Louis too). We learnt that already that day the Viper Ancestor known as Baba Yaga had been released and no one was quite sure what had happened to the Hammer and Dagger of Dorn.

Pape began the opening speeches by speaking of the bonds shared by Dark and Light Incantors and stating that his Ancestor too had a Dark Side and for that he would wear a Dark Incantor tabard. Tic-Toc was welcomed onto the Incantor Council to speak for the Dark Incantors. He did not express a light side but grudgingly agreed to make a goodwill gesture.

It was at that point that Teran McYokel, Morven of the Shrouded Circle and myself demanded the release of Daffyd McTaff. We then amended this demand to the return of the Laird Incantor ALIVE. We expected a bitter struggle and to have to give them a good kicking, so imagine our disappointment when Tic-Toc agreed easily.

The catch was that Daffyd was not unscathed by his time as a captive. One hand had had its Pattern corrupted into an Unliving form. After much arguing it was decided that it was acceptable to cut off his hand and burn it. Daffyd bravely agreed and endured this final pain in order to be clean again. Although there was the matter of the pregnant half-orc but that is his personal problem (and now Tic-Toc's I'm led to believe).

With so much going on, I'm sad to say I cannot report it all. For most of it, Teran McYokel and I were stood outside the Meeting Room while Faction Incantors discussed such vital matters as "Unliving Policy", "The Church of Tain" and "Who likes the sound of their own voice the most?". Occasionally Teran and I would hear of Vampire and Bandits but we stayed stalwart at the door (well, except when Teran went to fill his tankard or was flirting with Bright Eyes). People came to the meeting but the uptight folk refused to be disturbed by Amion Vek and his news of Sorcerers or anyone really.

Eventually some fight or other drew them out and the meeting was done. What happened exactly after that is blurred but at some point Teran ordered me to join him in a fight. Morven joined us as well and we charged to the ritual circle to deliver a package labelled "mosh". Only... well... somehow we ended up in the ritual circle and then in Poznan where a small army disarmed us. They struggled with Teran who would not draw his sword so the cowards shattered it before he could slay each and every one of them. They then sent us back with an ultimatum, which was duly ignored.

Other creatures came and went and people came and went and I had no idea what it all meant. Instead I found a drink or seven and talked to people about all kinds of things. I think Teran managed to find that massage he had been after. Morven took great delight in stealing the feathers from Tic-Toc's hat and trying to sell them back to him. There was a curious moment when Archbishop Jihad of the Church of Tain opened a box and produced some dolls, which he transformed into normal living beings. It was a clever trick and would save on carriage tickets. One of the fellows had been called Bjorn before he was shrunk but suddenly he was Bjorn again!

There was a stirring amongst the Children of Malar in whose number I laughably include myself. However they do not accept me as legitimate so I never found out what transpired. Right after that though King Rhino of the Lions had a word with me. He said he was impressed with what I'd done but he was concerned about my relationship with the Bears. I felt sure I was going to get it in the neck but to my surprise he still wanted to make me a knight. For various reasons this was the last thing I wanted but no one could understand why so against my gut feeling I was knighted.

Also around that time Durith had disappeared off to the Plane of Ancestors for reasons unknown to me. Almost certainly unrelated to that, people also began to fall sick of a severe disease that spread rapidly throughout the assembled guests. Tragically (in a wonderful admin cock-up) Incantor power proved ineffective and the few healers present were soon drained dry in a bid to heal people. I remained unaffected, as I think, did Teran. Daffyd may have been afflicted but he was having a bad night. Upon receiving a letter from his father, Daffyd was asked by a Drow if he "needed a hand". Needless to say, this was a shade tactless in the circumstances.

Having had a fair bit to drink by this stage I eventually collapsed to bed while choirs of Ancestors sang me to sleep from the back of their purple elephants. Other important stuff might have happened but we'd freed the Laird Incantor and had a drink and a laugh so not much else mattered really.

Uncle Yargon’s Problem Page

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I feel at times that my seamen are laughing at me. What should I do?

Yours One eyes jack!

Dear Shamus,

Take the parrot off your shoulder and take the eye patch off your forehead. Now stop pirating ya POOF!

Clans in Focus

The McFooks.

Since the Gathering ’97 they have appeared many times. Gaining more support as they go. Even one, now guards the one of the Queens. Still though there is no bad reviews from people who have meet with them or even drunk with ‘em !

They are celts through and through.

Drinking…..

Many moons ago they would hold a competition to see who could drink the best. There was several ways at this.

Drinking the Most…. Obvious!

Drinking the Weirdest …. This was don’ in two ways….

1. the weirdest brew…. Dougie would win

2. the weirdest way possible…..Open for offers

Drinking the least..OK,lightweight always won !

Drinking the most Dangerously…… Drinking Brother Brewers, I can’t remember

Drinking Nicely …… Lions ya Poof! (Old days!)

Drinking from strange places ….. A shoe, a shelf of a lady!

Drinking ….. o’ what the hell, off ta tha Bar!

Sir Lemming

From the Readers!

Dear Editor,

I wonder if you can help me, I’m Shanon O’Cleary. Teran McYokel and my fiancée Khaan went together to Berlin for the Incantors event last month and since then Teran has appeared, but seems to have lost Khaan. I know he had a reputation for getting himself lost, but never thought he could lose people!?! Can you help me find where he could be and as usual Teran is no where to be found. If anyone could inform me of his whereabouts I would be extremely grateful. He still has to ask my twin sister and clan chiefy (T’Nair) if he can marry me at the Gathering next year!!!!

Thank you

Shanon O’Cleary

Dear Shanon,

I have spoken to Teran since that event and I can remember clearly what he said. Khaan, was last seen running away with a dark elf ….. Teran could not remember much more as he fell asleep unexpectedly! When he awoke no-one was around (Nevien O’Leary), so he went to the bar with him as he could not see any sign of Khaan.

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