While the Bear Armies stood kilt high in snow awaiting for the Gasharim undead army earlier this year, the treacheous Orcs teleprted magically into Pitlochey & kidnapped our Hi King, Cashew McNutt attempted to stop ‘em but was defeated in the attempt.

Cashew however was able to give a good description of the Orcs. "They were wearing green with a black circle with a thing green leaf", said Cashew. Craggy now knows who they are, as shortly afterwards they sent certain demands for the return of the Hi King. This ransom note was signed by Daz Halftonge. These demands included the execution of Joshua McTay & the destruction o’v his tower amongst other things…….

Craggy replied to these demands by telling them to get into the 11^th Century & if they harmed the Hi King then we would build their funeral pyres with the remains of the great wood. He has had no answer to that reply as of yet!

As this was happening reports came in from the scouts in the mountains. The Gasharim army had marched into the mountains, however they also reported a big explosion from where the army had marched into and all that remained was a blated area of rock. Good riddance to ‘em!

After this Craggy stood down the armies for a month or so, except the 7^th, who moved with the help of the 2^nd fleet to North Caledonia, while Rory McTwatem with the 1^st fleet scouted Orkneyar. As you may have heard, they were beseiged by Mordinear a Malar.

Malar fell with great cost to the wakes, however another army of Mordinears is poised at the South East tip of Orkneyar, looking like its ready to attck us!!!!!

Better get back to me army….Teran

As from the 1^st week of April all armies have been called back into action & to Muster xx xx xxxxxxxx (Militarily Sensitive Material – Ed). Cashew McNutt is to lead his men North and me will face the Orcs of the Great Wood soon, as they seem to be asissing troops.

Everyone is therefore to report to their armies. Get intouch with your Thanes and Ri Thanes to find out where & who you will be assigned to.

It look like War looms from two fronts & we will be hard pushed this year. But I am sure that Caledonia Courage will prevail, we will rescue theHi King, banish the Orcs & Mordinear & have a happy yuletide.

Take care & stay strong

All the Best

Well I feel I might as well write a report of what I can remember whilst it is still fresh in my mind. I really need to talk to Heather further concerning the matter of the High King but I think black eye incurred this morning is more than adequate indication that discretion prevail and that perhaps I better wait for her temper to cool a little first.....

Lord Joshua McTay opened the formal proceedings. He thanked Heather McBeth, The Queen Morrigan for being able to host the Grand Convocation of Guilds once more in the ancestral home of the Clan McTay on the shores of Loch Tay and then moved on to the guild speeches.

The speeches were made from most of the Guilds. (Probably boring as usual – Ed).

The Mind Flayer that has been troubling recent events in Caledonia once again appeared although this time its actions and motives seemed quite different. Instead of employing the old trick of disguising itself as one of the guests and entering the hall to feed off people’s powers it remained outside and no power drain was experienced. From the reports I have received it appears that the creature was here to reclaim a potion that had been taken from it by one of the guests some time earlier. This potion, when applied to a blade made the blade appear as an enchanted item although it is actually nothing of the sort.

The Black Wolf that is believed to be responsible for the infection of Mages Guild Guard Captain Blackthorn some considerable time ago appeared outside the tower. Apparently immune to most normal blows and magics it was eventually struck down at which point Ash and Breaca McYokel "attended to it" with a pair of silver daggers.

Cyngelis performed an impromptu ritual to help destroy the creature drawing upon the power of the Tomes of Earth and Air, which are in the care of Apprentices Jax-Ur and Xixix respectively at the time. Although the wolf creature has now been dealt with the location and condition of Kieran Blackthorn is still a mystery.

It is my sad duty to report the death of Master Healer Hagar. A Golem like creature appeared and asked for Master Healer Hagar by name. Once Hagar had come forward the creature proceeded to brutally disembowel him in a most unpleasant way I am lead to believe. Sadly there was nothing those present could to attend to him and once Hagar had been pronounced dead his body proceeded to dissolve into a pile of blue goo. Due to this strange fact and the observation made later that Hagar was not carrying any of his usual items with him rumours abound that the person slain may have in fact been some form of Simulacrum and not Hagar at all.

Whatever the case may be the reasons for the Golem's appearance and attack are unclear. Similarly the appearance of the Simulacrum is an even more baffling mystery if indeed what people saw was not Hagar himself.

The Swordsmiths guild showed up with a human messenger from the Green Leaf Tribe who is currently holding the High King hostage. The re-iterated their list of demands that had been delivered at the World Trade Fair on Mauritania They also delivered a box which contained a finger from the High King which had been severed by the Goblins. The messenger and Swordsmiths finally left but not until after harsh words and blows had been exchanged. I left shortly afterwards for Castle Craignish to place the finger in safe keeping although my own body did not escape unscathed when I informed Heather of this development the following morning.

MALICE AND AVARICE.

Malice appeared and apart from showing his customary mistrust and spreading poisoned words he also delivered a letter to Lady Agnes from his brother Avarice the text of which is copied below. He also used magical powers to coerce Lady Agnes into agreement with the terms therein.

AGNES REPENTS.

I talked with Lady Agnes on the matter the contract that she had made with Malice and she agreed not to honour, as she had not made it own free will but had been obtained by trickery and deceit. In return the people of Caledonia will stand by the Weapons and Armourers Guild and support them in any problems such actions may cause?

NAME – Mephisto McSnaga

PERSONAL DETAILS - Former Faction High Ritualist, Knight of the Boar, Bears Foreign Minister.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES – Moody, Trusting, Large Orcish Nose (Occassionally)

OCCUPATION - Loser of Ambassadors

FAVOURITE COLOUR (S) - Black & White (The only TRUE tartan)

FAVOURITE THINGS - Beer, Whisky, Green, Food, Gullible Factions.

LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS - Mangus 'Ego' Mangusson, Astute Factions.

WOULD MOST LIKE TO SHARE A DESERT ISLAND WITH ... Ainsley McYokel ... mmm Wraith Stew, my favourite!

WOULD LEAST LIKE TO SHARE A DESERT ISLAND WITH ... Mangus Mangusson's ego - I want some land to myself.

LEAST ENDEARING QUALITY – Losing things….like Ambassadors ! (I thought Teran omly lost things – Ed).

HOBBIES – Hobbies: Eating, Drinking, Eating, and Pulling the Wool (care of Dai McTaff) over Other factions' eyes and Eating.

SPECIALIST SUBJECT - Bullshi.... Diplomacy!

Quote: "Anyone wanna be an Ambassador?"

Dear Uncle Yargon,

Everytime I go out for a walk by the banks of Loch Doon, I keep running into a very unusual man who follows me around everywhere and keeps trying to show me his prize vegetables. What should I do, and how can I dissuade him.

Your's Anthrax McTaff

Dear Anthrax,

I'm not telling you anything ... [SLAP! ] ... okay get that lamb off my ... [SCREAM!] ..Allright, but you should feel honoured that a brave McYokel such as Chaos should be after your affections. You McTaff's don't know what a good thing is ... [SLAP!]... Okay, just offer him a flute and he might leave you alone for a while.

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I recently went off to Cymria, when I met some very nice Dragons. I was going to go off and swap some recipies with them, but my father became very over protective. What should I do?

Your's Flossie McTaff.

Dearest Flossie,

I remember young Betty coming to me and saying a similar thing many years ago now, so don't worry about it, that worked out alright, didn't it? (No! She married her father you inbred half-wit! - Ed)

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I have a terrible problem, I seem to have annoyed a guild by constantly making jokes at their expense...what should I do?

Dai McTaff.

Dai,

I'll get you for this, when I get free I'll show you what fear is ... [SLAP!] ... you won't do that again ... [SLAP!] ... by Betsy's name ... [SLAP!]

Oh, he seems to have passed out. Ivor takes those lambs off him! Cormac, why did you have to hit him so hard?

Many people of all-different factions and races had turned up and we had a few surprising guests arrive, as in, prelate savage, Ambassador to Maar (previously the fool of the Old Invincibles), and a representative of the coven of Necromancers. After a time people were called to order for some announcements, and informed by Durith that the Incantors Guild have been in the process of change since the death of Attila the nun, the previous Arch High-Incantor.

The whole guild has been shaken up and many new jobs have been introduced as well as some of the old ones removed. The new inner members of the Sacred Council was formed those being, Hand of the Ancestors, Varash, Fist of the ancestors, Pape, Heart of the Ancestors, Durith, Will of the Ancestors, Elbarath Demont, and finally Voice of the Ancestors, Sgeulaiche.

Also the announcement that a shard of stone with powers to allow us to commune directly with the Ancestors had also been brought from the holy-city to Norsca, and with spirits still high people drank and talked for a while.

However the next announcement was received a little less warmly. Pape took the forum and coldly announced that the unliving problem was totally unacceptable. With all the powers of the guild at his disposal Maar the faceless would never be allowed to sign the Gathering Treaty for the Incantors Guild were declaring WAR (no holds barred).

Many cheered and said finally, it was about time. However Prelate Savage, The member of the Coven of Necromancers and the representative of the Gargoyle faction, didn’t seem too pleased and heatedly voiced his disagreement with the decision for the guild to enter into Factional Politics, and his biasness to the ancestors (UH!!!!).

He denounced the guild as a bunch of screaming fanatics (bit stupid if you ask me, when you are surrounded by supposed Fanatics, including Lord Gunner, of the Wolves, and Lord Rhino, of the Lions. However, they seemed more than pleased with the decision -Ed).

It was at this point the representative of The Coven of Necromancers stated that for each unliving destroyed they would kill one of the people of Edreja and promptly left the building soon after making his speech (at a bit of a jog). Through out the night there were several Unliving attacks and unfortunately a lady present died at the hands of the coven.

The lady in question was killed by a Necromantic spell. This left a symbol on her forehead and we were informed that her pattern would not be released until the spell was reversed, (so if anyone has any ideas on how to remove a necromancy spell please let the Incantors Guild know -Ed).

About a third of the way through the night the Incantors present lost their connections with their ancestors, which resulted in them losing their powers for a while. To rectify this problem, Arch High-Incantor Durith called all present persons to show their belief in the ancestors, this was done by showing their respect. It was at this time that they discovered the power that had been blocked by the Shadow of Maar the Faceless, but the power build up and chants of denial of its existence vanquished it from the meeting and the power was returned.

Foreign Ministry

Drink Beer. Drink Cider. Drink Whisky. Drink other people's homebrew. Drink from strange unmarked bottle.

Drink with visiting nobs in our camp. Drink with foreign nobs in their camp.

Talk to visiting nobs while drinking. Remember what you talked about the morning after.

If you have these skills, the Foreign Ministry is looking for you. We currently have vacancies for Ambassadors & Aides with more vacancies appearing all the time. The job is rewarding, tax free, carries great status and what's more, other people will want to supply you with drink.

All applications to Mephisto McSnaga, Foreign Ministry, Pitlochry (mcsnaga@mcsnaga.screaming.net, or 14 Amerden Way, Windsor Meadows, Slough, SL19BB)

Mephisto

Oh ..... check out the Foreign Ministry at:

http://www.mcsnaga.freeserve.co.uk/bears/hello.htm

There's a link to the Bears Lair website on it too.

To High-Incantor Durith; Sorry, Editor could not read Teran’s writing……Question and Answer should have been:-

I believe I have already begun what I intended. My original statement to the sacred council was that we must find our common bond in the faith we share. This may be to different Ancestors, but in the end the commitment remains essentually the same.

Otherwise I have begun to alter the Guild Administration. Under the late Attila (May she rest peacefully) the organisation was entirely dependent on her. I want to make the work without relying on any one person, including "me", Ancestors forbid!

With Contributions by:

A Big Thank You

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who attended MTN2, and made the event so enjoyable and a success. Despite the rain on Sunday and the generator failing to work the players were excellent, and very tolerant of headless chickens trying to sort out monsters for them to beat up. In particular I would like to thank the Site Staff, Geoff, Andy and Brian for the marquees and for everything else they provided, Rose (Heather McYokel) for the two tents to keep the monsters dry and G.O.D. hidden from the site of others, Leanne (Fetish McYokel) and Malcolm (Mungo McYokel) who did such sterling work insuring that the beer flowed smoothly. Also Jeremy (Rev Paisley McYokel) for the van, all the McFooks (I’m sorry I can’t find or remember all your names) for their acrobatics in the Marquee and for all their monstering. To Mandy (Aaron McYokel) for all the kit and the use of the sewing machine. To Mel (Tigger McPooh) your a chauffeur in the making, Paul Norris (Carrot McYokel) without who letters wouldn’t get typed and we would not have a mailing list that was comprehensible, also to Paul Wilder for listening to all the insanities that I suggested for him to sanction. To Leslie and Tony for coming all that way and then due to bad luck missing out. To Mat Gritt (Yargon) and Turtle (Eltha McFee) for writing and running linears and generally doing what they were told. To Mat Pennington (Thomas Finn) for creating entertainment just by turning up in character. To Dave Young (Dai McTaff) and Dave Garrick for sitting on the site for so many hours and helping set up and take everything down. To all those that monstered or helped out and have been missed thank you.

And finally to Gareth Young (Ash McYokel) who took all the crap and stress for me and who without it would have been truly impossible to do.

Thanks again

Denzil

Blessing be upon you

This Newspaper is A Private Production and is no way linked to LT (at present). It contains any info about up and coming events as well as reports on past events.

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