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Death of a Great Chiefy & War Leader!It was during the attempt to rescue Yargon and Ash McYokel when it happened. We came across what looked like a group of Goblins with two weird looking things wearing Clan McYokel Tartan. Unfortunately the two weird looking creatures were commanded to attack and we took them down, as we knew no other way at the time. After the group of Goblins were taken care of it was discovered that in the confusion that an assassin, who had already tried to kill the Queen Morrigan but failed, had attacked the most prominent person in the party (the one tell people what to do that is - Ed). The sneaky basket had used poison to do the dirty deed, and we were just seconds too late to save him. As said in previous reports the creature that we had slain were actually Yargon and Ash, therefore we tried everything to keep their bodies alive long enough to dismiss the curse or what ever it was. If this had not happened we would have shawly lost all three and that would have not been good for the Clan. What can I say, I have no words to say what I want to say about my Cousin & Chiefy Nobby. All I can hope is that his son, Denzil McYokel turns out to be as good a cheify as his father, in Battle, in Drinking and Tarting !!!!!! Teran…..
To the brave Clansfolk of Caledonia This is a wee note to you all to explain about the situation in our lands at this time. As you may have heard, there is a bit of a dispute about a town called Rockholm. I’ll tell yea’ wha’ happened. The town was occupied by the Unicorns and their army on the terms of some spurious treaty that guaranteed the towns neutrality. I was told this at the meeting that I attended at the first Moot. I was also accused of having a "political agenda", by Lord Rhino. When I suggested that we take control of Rockholm and promise the towns population safety and freedom, Rhino preferred the previous arrangement and forgot that the Unicorns are far more interested in politics than we are. The Unicorn army, which moved into Caledonia with promises of help seemed very helpful, until their supplies where attacked, at which point they about faced and left the battle to us (Friends in the Unicorns stayed though – Ed). Then when the news of Rockholm reached them, they promptly turned into a bunch o’ hole digging poofs and occupied a piece o’ our lands. Which by my way of thinking counts as Invasion! Not only that it turns out that our friend Severdhead had been transporting weapons to the orcs and Goblin armies despite an earlier ruling by the ruling body of the Unicorns which expressly forbade such acts. If you also add onto this the fact that most Unicorns will not take partake in a ritual of truth and the other fact that Thomas Finn and Roo McPooh were prepared to take a ritual of truth to prove that they had not attempted to slaughter the inhabitants of Rockholm in cold blood. When you consider that Thomas Finn was killed by a mage bolt which came from the Unicorns camp, it might be easy to think they didn’t want to take that test, and now to add insult to their nasty little plots, the Harts have besieged with three atmies. In a way I hope they do attack the town, because the Morrigan’s there and I’m sure she’d take great pleasure in ripping the heads of 7000 Harts, which will go some way in helping her grief over Thomas Finn.
Other NewsFrom our lands, is of more Orcs in the West, Lord Arcane has promised us a hand and our noble thane Tedrick McNutt is on hand to deal with that problem. At sea, Robbie McFinn and Rory McTwatem are having great success against illegal shipping. Of a more somber nature is the news that the Unicorns are now trying to starve us out by placing an embargo on trade with us. If anyone person dies in Caledonia due to food shortages caused by Severhead, I shall call it an act of war against us and invoke the terms of the Gathering treaty against the Unicorns which calls for the loss of recognition as a faction. So with that "small" threat, I shall finish my note. I look forward to seeing the clansfolk at the Gathering. I hope to call a muster a noon everyday and should enough interest be expressed, there will be a peoples court, a bard contest and the founding of a gold + silversmiths Guild. There will also be various meetings of the War and Chiefs Councils and a private bash between the Bears and Dragons to celebrate days of heroic fighting. Enough says I, I cannae wait. All the best Craggle MacGregor, Bears War Chief.
Another chief dies…Stephen, the clan leader of the O’Donnells died unexpectedly in a barroom Brawl last Wednesday. While himself and his best mate Rock were enjoying a beverage in a tavern in Erin, they got caught up in a rather large brawl. Typical of Stephen and Rock as they enjoy a good punch up (as well as a beer). The Brawl got rather nasty as tables, chairs and tankards were used (I hope there beer was not spilt from the tankards –Ed). The brawl started when one of the drunks knocked over Rocks tankard. So (stupidly) they took on over 10 men by themselves. Stephen, who was due to wed at the Gathering to Caitlin McYokel, ended up being hit and falling back onto a broken table leg, which went straight through him. On this Rock leaped forward and took revenge for Stephen, by slaying the man there and then with one almighty head-butt, he then fled with Stephens’s body. May his soul rest in Peace Raven O’Donnell Stephen’s last WishesWith his dying breath Stephen named his younger twin brother Raven as the new clan chief of the O’Donnells. Rock McTottie Now two chiefs are dead, long live the new chiefy’s!!! Sod poisons and Magebolts ! The McYokel Bull proudly presents ash’s … Top 3 Ways of killing someone in a Ritual of PeaceSporran of Fertility Rumour has it that the sporran has a little-talked-of –"maximal" setting, capable of killing a mortal through massive testosterone poisoning. Although quite gruesome it will unfortunately not affect women, and is suspected to be less effective against Celts, Orcs and other beings with a natural high testosterone count. Denzil denies that the sporran has been stuck on maximal ever since he became chiefy. Faction War Chieftain Although not a very obvious way of killing someone this is reputed to the queens’ favoured way of dealing with those they dislike. Appointment to the post of War Chieftain has a mortality rate of around 75%, making it far more reliable (and cost effective) than blade-venom’s. Certainly Angus McTwatum, Thorfinn McBeth, Wraith Buchannan, Thomas Finn and Nobby McYokel are unlikely to argue with the effectiveness of this method. Clan McTwatum Whilst most blessed to count Queen Ceridwen amongst its numbers, the clan’s male members seem to pay the price for the honour of the Goddess of Death’s presence. Despite the Ritual of Peace and the efforts of concerned friends, the McTwatum brothers have the highest mortality rate of any family in the Gathering’s history. Rumour has it that adoption by the McTwatum family was banned under last year’s revision of the Gathering treaty.
Unicorns Under Siege ?Our gallant heroes, Aynsley – the McYokel Cook, Shamus O’Donnell, Feargus MacBain & a few less committed individuals, managed to hold siege to the Unicorns camp for several hours at the second moot by nailing their gate shut on their "wonderful gate house". This did not seem to bother them too much as the guards were getting a bit cheesed off with the job anyway. We left them in peace for several hours but kept an eye on them to make sure they did not try any funny stuff. After this we got board, took the siege gate down and returned to our drinking. However, Aynsley carried on trying to brake in using stealth techniques, which were remarkably effective, but what do you expect from Unicorns. We must give thanks though to the Unicorn that told us we could trash the gatehouse; we all thoroughly enjoyed it.
Anyone for a wee drink ???If you’ve been missing them then, the O’Donnell drinking nights (at Shamus O’Donnells, in Basingstoke) have been most interesting. The regulars being Nettle O’Soup, Shamus, Raven, Stephen, Darius & etc from the O’Donnells, Magpie (Dragons), Weird (Lions), Myself and Uncle Teran, also one turn up from Uncle Yargon All from Clan McYokel and,… ah yes, clan chiefy Dia McTaff. In the bar there is much quaffing of ale and extremely good music from a local group, Rhythm Method (PJ and Cormac). Also the strange Irish dancing, which I am trying to learn, my teacher is Magpie, so who says I can’t dance. If anyone would like to learn just ask Magpie because she’s good. This dancing involves lots of foot movement and very little upper body usage. There is also the dancing round swords (try not to step on them – see Raven O’Donnell for advice! -Ed). Caitlin
Cookery CornerThere seems to have been some confusion regarding last moth’s publication of the experts from the Ravern O’Donnell Cookbook. It would appear that there exist two such books with the same name; each with different recipies. The McYokel Bull is proud to be able to present exerts from the second of these editions; brought to light only recently by Ash and Chaos. Grilled O’Donnell Sandwich 1 Large loaf of bread 1 O’Donnell 1 ltr single malt whiskey 1 Axe Butter or margarine Herbs to taste
Uncle Yargon’s Problem PageDear Uncle Yargon, We seem to have been lost for a while after going to the tavern a short distance from the castle. Here did we go wrong ? A lost warrior Dear Lost McYokel, Well, all I can say is, don’t get directions to taverns from Teran next time, just ask for the name. You’ll get there and back a lot quicker. Dear Uncle Yargon, I seem to have injured one of my wee toes, but I canna remember how it happened. Can ya help ? Distressed McYokel Dear Fetish, What can I say, I know I said to try different position to try and get some sleep but falling out of the bed was not one of them.
On behalf of the Clan McYokel, we are proud to extend … An Open Invitation to the Celebrate Birthdays of Teran & Flipper McYokel Everynight at the Gathering. All (except Unliving and Demons) Welcome Bring a bottle (as if we need to tell you!) This Paper was brought to you by Editor McYokel With Contributions by: Teran McYokel Ash McYokel (Mst Whitish) Caitlin McYokel Shamus O’Donnell Rock McTottie Raven O’Donnell Chaos McYokel Storm Bulls Just to remind anyone (of any clan) who wishes to join the Storm Bulls. The correct uniform is simply A RED TRIM ADDED TO YOUR SASH (in the McTaffs case this will probably look horrible). As usual, Spellcasters and Incantors need not apply. Address to contact if you would like to contribute to the paper all contributions will be welcome not only from clan members McYokel Bull 11 Rupert Rd, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 7EQ
Send a Spirit Message to the Editor Or leave a message for him on the Please feel free to drop us a letter if you want to get the McYokel Bull sent to other people, with there Address, Telephone Number and Email if they have one. Blessing be upon you From the Bull Team This Newspaper is A Private Production and is no way linked to LT. It contains info about up and coming events as well as reports on past events. Editor McYokel N.Gore / S.Pinches |
