Undead at Caer Dannons

We finally got to the Incantors Guild Council a bit late after some detours as Uncle Teran said he would take us. Uncle Yargon, Lady Bronwyn, Dafydd McTaff and Mister Sgeulaiche, were already there and quaffing some of Caer Dannons finest beer. We met up with some old acquaintances and friends and made some new ones too. Some knightly type person going by the name of Wilfred lent me his sword, which seemed to do nasty thing to chaotic creatures, I had to keep it away from Uncle Yargon and Mister Sgeulaiche because it seemed to affect them too! But no Undead seemed to bother me so we all drank, sang and then went to bed.

Saturday we got up early and had a hartly breakfast incredibly good for Undead bashing. There was groups of Undead that kept turning up in the basement, which mister Durith called the catacombs, so we had to go down and twat them. If that wasn’t enough there was a group of necromancers from the past that were after the Arch High Incantor’s book, you know the icky one! So it was into the catacombs for us. Got to twat some more Undead and I was beginning to like this trip a lot; and Uncle Yargon let me go through the mouse trap, which I liked so much I asked if I could go again. But as usual he said "later Caitlin". My deepest thanks to Pape for lifting me down, it was quite a drop headfirst.

The banquet that evening had the usual speeches and I had to teach one of the Death Jesters to use a knife, fork and spoon; which was funny but at least they made the effort. After the banquet the only things I recall was fighting Undead before getting hit in the head. When I was coming too I saw the tail end of the Undead retreating into the catacombs with the icky book.

Sunday came around too fast, Pape and I believe Reaver, went back into the maze to retrieve the book, this time "White Reaver" went too. We all followed shortly after. However, the Undead and some necrie people appeared wanting to keep the book to let their master return to this plain. While we were fighting them back "White Reaver" appeared in my hand, I nearly died of a heart attack. White Reaver and I then went looking for Undead to twat and killed three before she disappeared to someone else’s hand. Collectively we killed lots more than we meet talking ones, the head of which, had the icky book. (I’m not sure but I think these were the necries) the head said that if our champion beat him in single combat we could have the book. So Dorn the Were-Bear (and honorary McYokel) volunteered and won, though it was quite close. We’d regained the book but had to fight our way back thorough the maze, back to the tavern.

Then as we were nearly outside a fight ensued. During the fight Dafydd saved me by rushing a vampire. As he was doing this everyone who new him shouted " go McTaff ". After that we all finished off the Undead, I managed with the help of white Reaver again and feel very privileged. The council then wound up and we came home for a wee celebration, with some new friends ( by ritual circle, it’s easier with Uncle Teran around!).

Caitlin

The things Celts get upto!

Arch High Incantor

Mr Durith

"A McYokel ??? "

The Bull celebrates its 1st Anniversary.

Well, it has been a year and it is still here, but this time as a faction newsletter. All I can say is that I am glad it is being enjoyed and hope it carries on to be read. - Ed

Clansmen in Focus

Although he's been chieftain for several months now it seems some people are still not aware who the McYokel's new chieftain is. In an attempt to rectify this situation the Bull sent a reporter for an in depth interview with the man himself (Unfortunately he spent the budget on beer and had to make up the story himself - Ed).

NAME

Denzil "Meathead" McYokel

PERSONAL DETAILS

Human male. Son of Nobby and Betty McYokel. 20 years old.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES

Big arse. Tankard fused into right hand. Extremely tall.

OCCUPATION

Clan chieftan. Thane of the 6th Army. Weaponsmith. Stormbull.

FAVOURITE COLOUR

Tartan (yeah - we know it's not a colour but he insisted)

FAVOURITE THINGS

Beer. Fights. The joke about "Philip" the mace.

LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS

Empty tankards. Washing behind his ears. The traditions of Clan McPooh. Losing.

WOULD MOST LIKE TO SHARE A DESERT ISLAND WITH ...

The brewer. Lord Severhead (evil laughter!)

WOULD LEAST LIKE TO SHARE A DESERT ISLAND WITH ...

Incantors, mages, pascifists and tee-totallers.

LEAST ENDEARING QUALITY

The joke about "Philip" the mace.

HOBBIES

Fighting, drinking, tarting, singing and dancing (not necessarily in that order).

Badger Trap

A very small number of people (none of them Bears) were saddened to learn of the death of "Badger" (formerly Jethryk of Rockholme) on the Saturday of the Gathering. A traitor who defected from the Unicorns, Badger had become quite notorious and wild rumours regarding his death circulated at great speed. The Bull is proud to present the best of these rumours for your entertainment.

The Apprentice’s Party

Hi everyone,

My name is Dafydd and I’m nearly 14Yrs old. My Grandfather – Chiefy McTaff, let me go to Rowan’s Birthday party. Lots of people were there including me father, Cormac McTaff; it’s sooo unfair! He won’t let me do anything on my own.

I nearly got in a fight with a Paladin of Dana ‘cos he was wearing McTaff tartan on his head. I saw Tigger McPooh again, she talked to my father a lot though I don’t know why ? I met Caitlin McYokel, she was Nice, she’s 16.

The head of the Incantors guild was there and more important people than I can remember. I got drunk, but not as drunk as Jethro or Willy! It was lots of fun. I can’t wait till next year!

Oh yes and da’ and Mr Yargon had a fight to see if da’ was fit to lead the storm Bulls. Da’ kicked Mr Yargon’s butt.

See ya all soon.

Dafydd

Resignations & Appointments

Aside from the birthday celebrations, Lady Rowan's party was marked by changes in several key positions. As ever the Bull was there and almost sober enough to accurately record the proceedings.

The issue was raised by Uncle Yargon who greeted Denzil's arrival with accusations that he could not competently fulfil the posts of both clan chieftain and Stormbulls commander at the same time. Despite suggestions that the words "Denzil" and "competent" were not usually used together anyway, the chiefy merely replied that Yargon could not then be clan Ritualist and Voice of The Ancestors.

Denzil quickly resigned command of the Stormbulls in favour of Cormac McTaff until Dai McTaff pointed out that his son-in-law was from Albion. Forgetting that he too was born south of the border, Yargon challenged Cormac's competence to lead Caledonia's fiercest unit and single combat across Rowan's garden followed. Despite some unhelpful throwing knives from Ash, Cormac was triumphant and earned his new command in battle.

Yargon's resignation as clan Ritualist left the post open to several younger mages and incantors. The field was narrowed down to Teran and McWitch as Ash, Rowan and Jethro all bowed out saying they had duties elsewhere. In the end it was agreed that Mystic Matt (Yargon's mentor) would care-take the position whilst Yargon himself trained both candidates before next year's Moots.

Not wishing to be left out, chiefy Roo McPooh entered into the spirit of things by resigning the post of "High Shelf of Caledonia". By the unanimous vote of those present, Aynsley - the McYokel's cook - was elected to stand in the position until the Queens appoint a proper successor.

Rowan McYokel’s Party

Roll of Dishonour

In a concerted attempt to add insult to injury, the Bull is proud to display a list of those particularly worse for alcohol consumption to the mocking public ...

It's good to see our old friends Willy and Jethro have some competition from some of the newer arrivals.

Mr Turnip gets a Job

The Bull would like to congratulate all those who were promoted within they’re various Guilds and Factions over the course of this year's Gathering. Particular mention must however go to Mr Turnip who became the first vegetable in history to hold apprenticeships in both the Mages and Alchemists guilds (a stick of rhubarb was made apprentice alchemist in 1082 but it only ever reached initiate in the Mages Guild). It is not yet know if Mr Turnip has decided which Colour Mage (if any) to approach for patronage ... but Joshua McTay is a firm favourite with many McYokels. 

Uncle Yargon’s Problem Page

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I don’t know what to do. I’ve meet this really nice girl but I don’t know how to get her attention.

Young & Confused

Dear Dafydd,

Let nature take its course, beat her over the head and drag her to ya bed. Then find the location of the nearest army, just in case – oh and don’t let your dad find out.

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I have recently popped a question to a wee girl I like but I have not had an answer back. What should I do?

A lost Sole

Dear Teran.

Let nature take its course, beat her over the head and drag her to ya bed. Then find the location of the nearest army, just in case!

Dear Uncle Yargon,

I keep getting these urges. I’ve never wanted to wear a kilt before, it all started at the Incantors council meeting. What do I do about it?

A fellow Incantor

Dear A-H-I-D,

It can be frightening for a young man, when his mind is in turmoil, his hormones surging and strange desires coursing through his veins. But don’t rush into anything, these feeling are only natural, but wait until you find the kilt that is right for you, casual kilt wearing can be a sad & empty experience.

A Visitors Guide to Caledonia

Starting this month the McYokel Bull aims to try and spread knowledge of our great country, its heritage and its traditions. Some of you may know a bit on the subject already, but it should serve to educate those of our readership who are either foreign or less travelled.

Where better to start than with Caledonia's favourite pastime (alright - possibly not the McTaffs'); PARTYING ! The following celebrations have been taken from Denzil's "Bumper Book of Parties" (an enlightening read but sadly not very portable)

Ash (The Royal Bard)

HOGMANY & NE'ER DAY

Festivities start with the "first footing" as at midnight the first reveller enters the building. Traditionally the person should be unmarried and bear food, alcohol and a musical instrument of some description.

FESTIVAL OF BREWING

On Midwinter (January 13th) clans celebrate the passing of the worst of the cold for by this date the clan knows if its stores will last the rest of winter. If supplies are plentiful then the surplus is turned into ale and mead and if not, what little there is is instead kept as food. In some parts of Orkneyjar the festival is known as Midvintersblot instead.

UP-HELLY-AA

(Orkneyjar)

On the last Tuesday of January replicas of Norscan longboats are carried through torch-lined streets by men dressed as Viking raiders. The parade ends at an open space where the "crew" abandon ship as the torches are hurled at the decks to the refrains of Caledonia. The assembled clans folk, party the rest of the night away around the wreckage of the burning vessel.

BURNS NIGHT

Every January Caledonia celebrates the passing of her most celebrated poet, Robert McSporan. Legend recounts how the unfortunate bard over-indulged on his host's hospitality and fell into the fire-pit. Each year clansmen across the country consume copious amounts of alcohol and mimic the antics of the great man. The name was given to the event by local healers.

RIDING OF THE MARCHES

(Southern Caledonia)

At High summer (July 17th) all those clans folk within a day's walk of Albion troop towards the border. When the sun is at its highest the assembled dignitaries raise their kilts to salute their southern neighbours as only celts can.

LUGHNASA

The first day of August is the festival of Lugh, the High King who led the celts and their fae allies to victory against Balor's Formorians. In each community a noble or elder is ceremonially appointed as "King" and given crown and sword as he oversees the start of the harvest. That night the "King" serves his people behind the bar as they celebrate Lugh's ancient victory. The event supposedly represents the sacrifice of the High King for his land and people.

SPOILING THE HUNT

(Southern Caledonia)

The day after Yule those clansmen who are fit to stand shed their tartan and cross the border into Albion with intent to upset Baron Tiamat Genocide's annual boar-hunt. Attacks upon the huntsmen or their hounds are prohibited and may be punished by severe fines. Instead participants are encouraged to dirupt proceedings in a humourous or humiliating manner ; prizes (usually food or drink) are awarded for the best ideas.

Apologises

I must firstly apologise for missing someone of the list for the Mr Bear competition on the front page of the McYokel Bull last month.....

SORRY

Yargon!

Secondly, for the comment made by Nettle O’Soup towards the McPoohs….. Editor McYokel retracts the last sentence of her letter with regrets, however Nettle does not.

Adverts

Reporter required !!!!!

As the paper seems to be expanding more reporters are required for stories and such thing. If anyone would like to help please contact Editor McYokel or a reporter.

This Paper was brought to you by Editor McYokel

With Contributions by:

OOC Pages !!!

Well, this is novel, changes to this newsletter are coming thick and fast and the team here is expanding as well. It’s hard to think that this little production was first though up over a beer and the usual post gathering arguments with the clan. That night the first "Bull" was produced on my clapped out laptop (which has died since, some of you might have noticed the change in writing style). This was because I turned round to me mate Neil and said, "you read this every month give us a hand, it’s getting a bit much, and me computers knackered" (Well the E button just sat there and pressed itself when it felt like it, suffice to say it shortly afterwards it passed away to the place where all computers go to die, the wheely bin). Now a year later we have become a factional newsletter and a much bigger staff than the two of us, even though none of us can spell to save our lives (hey we’re Celts, so sue us!). I would like to take this opportunity to say a big cheers to all the people who have helped and still are and a hello to all new readers. If you think it’s crap write in and tell us, we read all E-mails, Snail mail and even those lucky people who have our phone numbers we listen to them, then file them in the usual file marked B (for bin not Bull) and write what we think instead. Joking aside now we’re factional, more help is needed, we can’t physically be at every event but you lot combined can. It’s like a big sheet of paper, read it, write to it, and talk about it. All it is, is a source of facts, rumours and fun, so enjoy.

 Cheers to all, especially to Neil who has been a godsend.

Sean Pinches

What can I say that Sean has not already said? My thanks go out firstly to two major contributors of articles, namely Nick Long (Denzil) & Gareth Young (Ash), who have been fantastic in keeping articles coming (even though some times I have had to chase them to send them to me), thanks guys. Secondly, my thanks to all the other contributors that have not been named in these thanks (but were named in each issue), my thanks again.

All I can say now is for these people to keep the write ups coming as they are definitely needed. Lastly, I would like to show the appreciation of the Bears to Sean for starting the Bull. Three cheers and one for the haggis, also anyone wanting to can buy him a drink at the next event…. that includes me !

Cheers….

Neil Gore

A VISITOR'S GUIDE TO ...

As you may have noticed the "Visitor's Guide" is slightly different from the other articles in that it's written to be supposedly "factual" rather than editorial. Since the Bull is now a faction newsletter we wanted to encourage it's use to develop the character and background of Caledonia and the Bears. That said, DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING PRINTED HERE AS GOSPEL ... since we don't have time to get everything sanctioned before publication you may find that some of the information listed is rumour, exaggeration or just outright lies!

Whilst obviously we can write stuff ourselves, it would be much better to hear about each clan from its own members. Anyone who'd like to advertise their clan please send in a page or two detailing its history, traditions, legendary members, and/or anything else you think either relevant or amusing. All submissions to the usual address.

Address to contact if you would like to contribute to the paper all contributions will be welcome not only from clan members

Send a Spirit Message to the Editor

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Please feel free to drop us a letter if you want to get the McYokel Bull sent to other people, with their Address, Telephone Number and Email if they have one.

Blessing be upon you

From the Bull Team