Our reporter, asked a few McYokels at the night for there view. One said " We arrived slightly late as usual, to the McYokel Tavern night. The reason for this was because of problems with the chariot on the way back from a little skirmish at Bristol. I was luck enough to catch this last chariot coming back, but who was in it. Well true enough some of the bravest McYokels, Chiefy Nobby & his brother High Incantor of the Bears Yargon McYokel. We all arrived just in time for the main feast. Before the banquet started Chief Nobby McYokel stood up and asked for everyone to introduce themselves to the gathered group. Many of us knew each other by name, by reputation, but not by face and it was interesting to meet them. The feast went on greatly and the drink flowed. All McYokels then donned on their singing caps, started with one song and carried on until they were all done….. even to the 12 days of the Gathering !!!!
After the feast had been finished and we were all full with Food, but not with Mead, the decision was made to move to Rowans Tower. The night was still young but I had to head off even though the evening was still continuing in the tower…… remember you have to give me time to get lost on my journeys… in my case it is on most of them………………….!!!!!!! " Told Teran McYokel
This was not the only comment said from that night, another McYokel said " Hmm … ‘some meat, and cheese, and stuff’ I was told …lucky I don’t have time to eat anyone before I went to the tavern! The outrageously-trouseed servants were still bringing in platters of roast pheasant long after I was stuffed. Nice of so many Old Invicibles to grace us with their presence, but as for Willy Forbes claims to be able to out drink the McYokels I didn’t see any of US asleep on the toilet floor. I can’t remember the last time I so enjoyed an evening downing tankards of gravy and being shot with siege weapons ! "
Since rumours spread that Nobby had been more dependent on Dags wife ‘Breaca’ than his own wife Betty. But on a cold night at the VI birthday she performed her first healing and not only that she proceeded on going on a healing spree as swarms of undead came upon us, her hands flew and healed all she could get her hands on.
Dag’s comment on the subject was "All I care about is that Breaca is by my side and here to heal the clan hopefully this leaves the subject to sleep as well as the rumours that have spread about Breaca and Nobby"
PAPERS COMMENTS:
Nobby better watch out he may have released more than he counted for it, healing may not be the only thing she going to going to shift into top gear. Poor Nobby might not be able to walk again.
The birthday drew near and the McYokels once again decided to take the pilgrimage to wish Joshua McTay happy birthday and keep out of trouble, This was going to be easy as convincing some one that the McYokels are a bunch of armour wearing Poofs who sip tea and eat scones all day ( I don’ t mean the Old Invincibles). So on arriving they proceeded to check about the persons at Master White’s humble abode (how is it all these Mage’s have huge bars and their never seen pissed, apart from Master Yellow) the usual story Wolves, Lions, Unicorns the odd droo and Hart and not forgetting the rift with undead pouring out. This meant Incantor wedges. The smile on Nobby face was plain to see, also finally he got to play with his magical sword, but first to the bar.
"As far as I am aware the Tarantulas have no policy to assassinate Master Lysandra……unfortunately!"
Master Violet
Unlike the OGC meeting, no McYokels decided to try and get them selves killed, however Master White has a small problem with undead (well he would build a castle on a rift which the McYokel help close at the moots last year) and every time the McYokels tried to give Master Violet his present the undead had to go and stick there head in the door so the McYokels and a few of the Old Invincible had to go and rid the problem. Finally the present was given, a length of tartan (funnily enough ours), and a bear claw. Then after a few tiffs between the mages and other assorted people the night was over, another successful piss up.
Hi and welcome to the most important spot of the McYokel Bull. As the leader of the McYokel Storm Bulls I am expected to venture into the roughest and nastiest places in Caledonia and other parts of the world as well, these seem to be mainly bars though which is a good thing cause I like a good drink and a good fight more than the next Celt. To start this review of some of the best drinking places in the known world I’ve started with my local, the McYokels very own Queens Arms.
The first thing you are likely to notice in this bar is the Celt that has just been thrown at the door, in a spirited game of toss the Celt (the roofs to low for a caber). The smell is probably the next thing that will hit you as it is quite solid and has its own seat at the bar. Another notable aspect of the tavern is the constant singing from various McYokels, and the beer flying from tankards held by Celts doing the scrotum dance.
But to the important bits. The beer there are three very special beers to try here. Number 1 is the McYokels very own Celtic Claymore Ale, this is not a beer for drinking it is a beer for laying down and avoiding. It has a taste to cut through the heaviest Armadillos armour and can floor any but the hardiest of Celts.
Next is the morning tipple called Betsy’s Best. This is a creamy ale that goes down as sweet as mothers milk and as long as you’re good the bar will keep serving.
Last but by no means least is the beer for the ladies brewed by my dad and called Nobbies Nobler. This has his own guarantee on it that it will allow any bloke who buys this for a lady will be able to escort her back to their bed chambers by the end of the evening. So how about the rowdiness, well with out a doubt this is a dangerous pub for the unwary or non-Celt. Not that it isn’t a friendly pub, ‘cause you couldn’t expect a warmer welcome anywhere. But as there has recently been a hole knocked through one wall that is next to the Storm Bulls Barn, and thus allows easy access for the Bulls to get their beers in the clientele tend to be up for a ruck more so than any other bar folk, of cause no weapons are used except other Celts and the odd table. but the bar never closes until there are no standing customers left in the building.
General pub games include tossing the Celt (see above) and bar charging (trying to get a free beer from the land lord, very dangerous), and full contact twister is always happening in one corner.
Over all this gets Six Claymores out of Five, for the beer and rowdiness.
The short review
.Ye Queens Arms. Location the Clan McYokels Keep.
Beers of note.
Celtic Claymore Ale. Viscious as the weapon its named for, also called falling over water.
Betsy’s Best. A nice light ale for starting the day with, very potent and it helps you grow.
Nobbies Nobler. A perfect ale for those attempting to follow in the footsteps of Chief Nobby McYokel. Also called Kilt remover.
The chances of a fight in this pub are certain, what with the McYokels as locals and the other clans dropping in for a fight and a beer on regular occasions. Also there are a variety of pub games to play like Celt Tossing, Bar Charging and the Queenies favourite Full Contact Twister.
This Tavern gets 6 Big Claymores out of 5.
Dear Uncle Yargon,
Despite all my attempts to be sinister and evil everyone always seems to treat me as if I’m a small child. It’s very embarrassing when your mother won’t let you play in graveyards at midnight until you have a vest on. Please help
Embarrassed of Caledonia
Dear Ash,
Now that the cold weather has set in you should be grateful you only have to wear a vest, when I was at a younger age my mum dressed me up in a big woolly jumper and bobble hat and those mitten tied together with string, and I was 23 years old.
Yours "Ain’t he cute" Yargon
Dear Uncle Yargon,
When ever I go to parties I have a terrible problem preventing myself falling asleep on the toilet floor, Please help
Lightweight of Caledonia
Dear Willy
May be you should leave the drinking to the professionals and stick with sparkling goo and then you will be the same as the rest of the tea total bears still having to wear armour
Dear Uncle Yargon,
My wife and I have been going through a terrible rough patch since some newsletter printed rumour I was having an affair with the Morrigan. Please help she has more axes than I have limbs!
Lecherous of Caledonia
Dear Nobby (Soon to be called Bobit McYokel)
What can I really say but move next time she tries to hit you and look on the bright side if you are having an affair at least you can post it to her and save on shoe leather
McYokel Bull 11, Rupert Road, Newbury, Berkshire, RG14 6HL,
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